Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Sad Celebrity Deaths, The Need To Offend & I'm An Asshole (No Surprises There)

There are 3 things.

3 things that link together to create this post.

Sad celebrity deaths.

The need to offend.

And, yes, I'm an asshole.

How, exactly, do these things merge into one?
Poor John. Rocking those Harry Potter glasses
before it became a 'thing' (someone should
have told him it looked a bit lame though).

Well here's how.

I don't really get sad at many things. But for some reason, when someone like a celebrity dies, it bothers the shit out of me.

Let's use a few of examples.

John Lennon.
Didn't like the guy much. Not a huge Beatles fans either. But it makes me so sad to think he died because some nut job decided to get his name in the papers. 

Heath Ledger.
This one always bothers me. God it's so sad, isn't it? The guy was an astonishing actor who deserved more than the one Oscar he earned for his role as the Joker in The Dark Knight. He was great. A seemingly nice guy too. Yet he died. For what reason? Well, it was pill related. Apparently he was on a ton of pills and bam, he took a fatal dose and died. 

It's sad not only because he was cut short of reaching his full potential at such a young age but also because no one knows if it was suicide or not and why he may have killed himself.

The Heath we saw as the Joker and the Heath
we saw normally were two very different people.
I just wish Nolan would release the behind the scenes
footage that included Ledger. This is one of the
few pictures of him on set.
Apparently Heath hadn't been himself before his death after the filming of The Dark Knight. He was unsettled and suffering from Insomnia. No one really knew what was up with him. Was it his broken relationship with his ex girlfriend? Was it his brutal dedication to the role of the Joker? Who knows. But either way, he ended up dead in his hotel room.

Michael Jackson.
Poor Michael. Jesus I feel sorry for this guy. If you want an example of someone being victimised by the public and media, look no further than this guy. 

He lived his life as a fragile plastic surgery addict who was so scarred from his childhood bullying experiences and poor relationship with his father that he decided to try and make himself visually perfect, yet came out looking like a Loony Tunes character gone wrong.

His lack of proper childhood lead to him obsessively trying to live an adult version of it in the form of a theme park thing in his back garden and consistently hanging around kids. He eventually got labelled as a paedo and the court cases ensued. 
It's a shame Jackson felt the need to ruin his
good looks by morphing into a white man mannequin.
He seemed to smile a lot more when he was
black too. Although maybe that's because all
the surgery restricted his muscle movement.

Poor poor Michael Jackson. People still think he's a paedo, which is understandable, but don't people realise the cases that did go to court were settled and one kid even admitted to lying about Jackson molesting him years later? How fucking sad.

I don't know why it gets me down so much to think of these people (and others) dying. Maybe it's death in general. Someone got hit by a train at the train station where I live and after I heard the news my day was pretty much ruined.

This, however, is odd.

Why? Because my sensitivity towards people dying somehow doesn't numb my perverse joke making towards it.

In fact, I think I have something wrong with me. Resist the chance to make an offensive joke? You must be mad. I just can't do it.

Frankie Boyle, the renowned offensive comedian, once said that he has this sort of 'reflex' where he says horrible things even when he doesn't mean or want to. I understand his issue.

Despite being sensitive about people dying and celebrity deaths, while exchanging sick jokes with my friend I made a horrible joke towards Jewish people AND the fairly recently deceased Paul Walker.


Because when the opportunity arises to shock and offend with an absurdly offensive joke arises I just can't resist. It's impossible. It's like in one side of my brain I'm thinking: 'This is Gold. Can't wait to see their faces after I say this. Hilarious' and the other side is thinking: 'But it is offensive. I don't really have this opinion. It's not really very... Me to make this joke. But then it is only a joke after all. What's the harm?'.

So I made this joke. I'll tell you what it is. But it comes with a disclaimer. The disclaimer being that it will make you think I'm an asshole, which I guess I am.

The joke goes like this.

What do the Jewish people of the Holocaust and Paul Walker have in common?
They all burned to death.

Now upon reading that you either thought 'What's the big deal?' or 'You sick fuck!' and then probably clicked off this page or left a mean comment.

The thing is it is a sick, offensive and incredibly disrespectful joke. I'll be the first to admit that.
But I'll also be the first to admit Paul Walker's death was tragic and makes me genuinely really sad. I'll also be the first to admit the Holocaust sends shivers down my spine and I have the utmost respect for every person involved in it (I mean victims. I don't have respect for the Nazi's responsible for it. Obviously.).

So why make the joke I did? Well... It's a joke. I feel like when I do offensive things I'm playing a character. It's not really ME, I sort of go into 'offensive mode' where I am an exaggerated asshole version of myself. It's almost like I have this inbuilt dickhead personality that comes through constantly. And THAT'S the issue; it shows all the time.

It's not like I only turn into this offensive character on here. The asshole side of my personality comes through all the time in normal conversation. It's like when the chance to make a horrible joke or comment comes up I literally can't resist and my dickhead personality trait comes through and BAM! I've just lost half my friends.

I have a need to offend. And I can honestly say, it doesn't bother me. It's just hard to find those people who accept that jokes are jokes and nothing more. Lots of people seem to have this idea that what you say, whether a joke or not, should be taken literally as your actual opinion and a real example of what you think.
These people are also called retards.

See, was the 'retard' insult really necessary? No, but I just can't help but be an asshole. So I guess that's what I am. I'm the part of a person where crap comes from. Ah well. No one's perfect.

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Unfriending On Facebook = THE WORST OFFENCE EVER.

Wow. Isn't the world a curious place. There's several incredibly unbelievable things about this story I want to talk about in this article. Number one being that somehow this 'story' actually managed to make it into the news (although I did first read this on the Daily Mail website so I don't know if that is classed as news. That said, it has been published on other actual news sites too).

What is this story I'm referring to? Well a cancer victim posted some pictures and - wait for it - one hundred people found them offensive and - wait for it again- UNFRIENDED HER!

Aaaaah. The horror. Save us now. From this shitty excuse for news.

Pretty much, this woman called Beth Whaanga posted nude pictures of herself after having a mastectomy due to cancer and some people got offended by it.

And this is apparently... A problem?

OK, so I'm far from the type of person who feels that the 'offended' should get their own way and have things they disapprove of not shown and blocked from the world just because they don't like it, and I don't think this woman's pictures should be removed in any way just because some people were offended, but people HAVE THE RIGHT to be offended just as much as anyone has the right to offend them. So really, who the fuck cares if, oh no, some people unfriended her or not? Who actually fucking cares?

Is this supposed to be an issue? Are we supposed to read this shit and gasp "Oh my God! That poor woman! All she wanted to do was show everyone on Facebook her naked body after having surgery to get rid of her cancer and one hundred - ONE FUCKING HUNDRED PEOPLE UNFRIENDED HER?" And then grab our pitchforks and hunt the pricks down?



No no no no no no no no no no!

What the fuck?

Some people don't want to see nude pictures of you after surgery on their news feed. And not only do I myself respect that but I also understand it.

No offence to this lady Beth... Errr... What was her last name? Wanga? Wanka? Waaanga? Whatever. Something like that. Anyway, no offence to this Beth Wonga person but who wants to see that shit on their bloody Facebook? I get you're trying to spread around that this is the type of shit you can expect after having a mastectomy but fucking hell, on Facebook? REALLY? Who wants to see that?

Some poor bastards were just scrolling through their news feeds, perving on hot girls and spying on people's conversations when BAM!

"FUCK. ME. What did I just see?"

No. No. No. NO ONE WANTS THAT. No. One.

Obviously a lot of her friends were alright with it. Just sorta got on with their Facebooking and didn't think much of it, or maybe dropped a like and a supportive comment. But apparently one hundred people thought:
"Nah, not for me thanks mate." And that's fine. No issue. You know why? Because it's Facebook and they have the right to say 'I don't want this on my feed' and unfriend the shit out of you.

What's more, no one expects or probably wants those pictures on Facebook. Like I just said, people aren't expecting graphic post-operation photos on their feed. Facebook isn't labelled as the 'place to be if you want surgery pics', it's a bloody social networking site.

I personally think people are better off making blogs or websites dedicated to these sort of unqiue things and letting appreciative and supportive people FIND THEM. Not forcing it onto every person you know's (or may have met once at a party) news feed. Quite frankly, I'm not surprised she lost friends and honestly, there's no need for her to get arsey about it. It's only Facebook.